Interior Gaze
During the month of October, I am running a Kickstarter campaign to record my fifth album, “Interior Gaze.” Over the course of this month, I am going to share the stories and lyrics from each of the 10 new tracks for this CD. I will simply start in alphabetical order. Towards the end of the campaign, I will recap the entire project, explaining how the "Theology of the Body" inspired each song.
Here is the background story for the title track, “Interior Gaze.”
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When my husband David and I started dating, we committed to having a relationship founded on God. Neither of us knew what that would look like, exactly. So we prayed, a lot. I prayed for protection, specifically. I knew we needed divine assistance to keep disrespect, indifference or lust from getting in the way of our newly-found care, trust, and commitment to each other. Little did I know, the protection I prayed for would come to surround me like a shield.
A couple months into our relationship, David and I planned to go to on a mission trip to Mexico with our youth group from Michigan. Together, we would serve an impoverished community, and I would give a concert for their community. Shortly before our departure, our youth director received a letter that brought our plans to a halt.
The mission director wrote about the tremendous violence taking place in their part of Mexico. He was concerned that if I gave a public concert, my very life would be in danger. While I was grateful that he cautioned us, my heart was heavy with this news! I felt for their dangerous condition, and that I could do nothing to help.
As the trip was cancelled, David and I had a block of free time to spend together. One of the evenings, we went to Mass and then to a Mexican dinner at our church gymnasium. After eating delicious food, we were surprised when they dimmed the lights and announced a dance contest! We were invited to compete.
That was our first time dancing together. The music was upbeat and Latin-inspired. As the judges went around tapping other couples to leave the dance floor, David and I kept dancing! Being rather competitive, I was intent on winning our first competition as a couple. But then I looked at David, and the expression on his face made time stand still.
The way he gazed at me was as if nothing else mattered. He looked so content. Somehow I understood that he was seeing me. Not just my smile or my body, but he saw my heart. It was that moment when I realized how much he cared about me. While we kept dancing (tying for first in the little competition -- woo hoo!), I kept thinking about the way he looked at me.
That night, walking back to my car, I remembered my prayer for protection. I realized God had answered by keeping us out of the violence in Mexico. I also came to believe that the love in David’s eyes could protect my heart. To this day, the way he looks at me with strength and care protects our relationship from the lies of insecurity or pride that try to break into our relationship.
Months after our first dance together, I learned the phrase, “Interior Gaze.” Pope John Paul II used those words to describe the look between Adam and Eve when they first see each other in the Garden of Eden. They saw the exterior as a sign of the goodness inside. That look of tenderness and love can point our hearts to God. It is the look I receive often from my husband, and one I hope to pass on to everyone I see. With the interior gaze, we see the image of love, of God Himself, through the eyes of another. That look of love is a comforting shield of protection against any storm.
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To read the lyrics, visit the updates section of my Kickstarter webpage by clicking here. Would you like to hear this song in a studio recording? Consider backing my project by making a pledge, and please join me in praying for success in this campaign.
More Story Lines & Lyrics, coming soon.
Peace,
Amanda