Happy Valentine's Day

Or is it?

Four years ago on this day, I was very single.  I was still living at my parents' house, and was not particularily excited about the holiday.  However, one of my (girl) friends had given me a nice mug and some hot chocolate mix the day before, so I decided make a warm cup of coco that morning.  To my surprise, I found an open letter on the kitchen table.  It was not addressed to anyone in particular. 

Later, I inquired who put the letter on the table.  Although my mom was familiar with the note, she did not remember leaving it out.  To this day, I am not sure why the letter was sitting there on Valentine's Day Morning, but I am glad it was!  I thought I would post the text on my blog tonight, in hopes that it will encourage you as it encouraged me.

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Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. 

But God says, “No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with living, loved by Me alone, with giving yourself wholly and completely to Me, with having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone.
When you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found you will be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.
You will never be united to another until you are united with me exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing…one you cannot even imagine.
I want you to have the best!  Please allow me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.  Keep experiencing the satisfaction knowing that I AM.  Keep listening to the things I tell you.
Just wait, that’s all.
Don’t be anxious.  Don’t worry.  Don’t look around at the things you think you want.  Just keep looking off and away, up to Me, or you’ll miss what I have to show you.
And then, when you are ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you would ever dream.
You see I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time.  Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and this is perfect love.
Dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love.  I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you completely, for I AM GOD.
Believe and be satisfied.” 

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Peace, 

Amanda

P.S. I have a lot of performances scheduled every weekend for the next couple of months!  I will post dates and locations soon.

Who I Am

One of my first solos was at an Advent concert when I was six years old.  The lyrics went like this, "If anybody asks you who I am, who I am, who I am...If anybody asks you who I am, tell 'em I'm a child of God."  Profoundly simple.  This conviction is a rock of certainty in my rapidly changing world.

I recently realized that I am married with a toddler and a baby on the way.  :)  To get to this point, I made a lot of choices, whole-heartedly and with a lot of joy.  However, because my life has been adjusting so fast, I have not had much time for it to "soak in" until recently.  My identity has not shifted, of course.  I am still a child of God, as I proclaimed to the world through song at 6 years old.  But, in the last few years, my entire lifestyle is different, my opinions about important issues are new, and many of my best friendships have altered dramatically.  In the midst of these changes, I have continued with my music ministry.  You can imagine my metamorphosis as a woman, and as an artist, since I released by first CD, 9 years ago.

My debut project was entitled, "Shine Thru Me."  It was the culmination of years of writing, piano lessons, and singing at church.  When I wrote most of the songs, I had no idea I would record them to share with thousands of others.  I was just working out my teenage experiences of dreams, prayers, heart-breaks, and questions.  It was only after I started writing music that I envisioned having a ministry.  I loved music, but I only wanted to use my gifts to please the Lord.  When God opened the doors for me to put those songs onto a CD, I was ecstatically happy!  He has never disappointed me when I trust Him with my deepest hopes.  Now, my question is, how am I called to use my gifts at 24 years of age? 

What is the best way to use my musical talents?  I always saw my music and faith as inseparable.  This is still true.   I am wondering which approach to take in this new phase of my life.  Am I a "Catholic artist," or an artist who is Catholic?  Would it be wrong to write music that simply tells what is on my heart as a young wife and mom?   Should I introduce myself as a "minister"?  Would it be more effective to give people my absolute best art, and let the outcome speak for itself?  Okay, enough questions.  I think you get the gist of what I am wrestling with. 

Maybe for a Christmas present, God will give me some clarity!  

Until then, I will try to treasure this moment.  I have been blessed with success in my mission so far, and I am excited about whatever lies ahead.  Today, I saw a photo on Facebook from a friend's wedding.  I led music during her nuptial Mass.  The couple was married in a beautiful basilica here in Grand Rapids.   

 

This picture caused me to pause my questioning and celebrate my enduring identity as a child of God.  I pray that Christ will continue to shine through me if I offer myself to Him completely.  

Enjoy this last week of Advent,

Amanda

Waiting.

The culture dispises it. 
The Church celebrates it.
If you are scared, you will not be found doing this.
What is it?

Waiting! 

It does seem worthless unless there is something great ahead of you.  I love the season of Advent, because it reminds me of the value of waiting.  This shows up in small ways (like delayed gratification when it comes to eating Christmas cookies), and big ways (like anticipating the second coming of Christ). 

Today, we celebrate the Immaculate Conception.  Is it just me, or does pregnancy seem to be a common theme during Advent?  I highly recommend the following blog article by Bob Rice.  He has a wonderful gift of making very intricate teachings seem simple.  Not to mention, he keeps me laughing:

"The Doctor and Blessed Duns Scott"

In closing, please keep my family and me in prayer as we head to the Diocese of Saginaw this weekend.  I will be give an Advent Concert for families at St. Christopher Parish in Bridgeport, Michigan on Sunday.  If you are in the area, I'd love to see you there.

Have a blessed week, 

 Amanda 

I am thankful for...

I have so much to be grateful for.  For the sake of time, I will try to keep this succinct.  Here's an overview of what I am especially thankful for tonight:  

Safe travels.  My little family and I have been all over the country and to Europe this year.  Most of our trips have been very smooth.  However, one instance comes to mind of driving through an incredible snow storm in Washington D.C. this January, in the middle of rush hour traffic.  That was probably the most frightened I have felt in my life.  Thanks be to God, we drove through without accident or injury, and then enjoyed a relaxing, unexpected couple of nights at the local Holiday Inn.  

Carrying a new child growing in my womb!  This is such a deep blessing that I cannot put it into words right now. 

The ability to share my gifts of singing and playing piano.  I attended a huge musical event this year with about ten thousand aspiring vocalists.  It was a great reminder of how fortunate I am to live out this call to music ministry. 

Friends who stand by me even when I am not feeling like "myself."  Such as...during my first trimester of pregnancy, for instance.)  

The pain of separation.  My younger sister and I grew up as best friends.  We were roommates for about about 18 years.  We shared our secrets, our laughter, and our tears (that just happened to rhyme).  Now, as we walk our separate journeys, I am starting to feel so distant from her!  I am thankful because I know this heartache is a sign of how deeply I cherished our childhood friendship.  I believe these growing pains will produce a fresh, new version of our friendship someday.

Great books.  I took a lot of time to read this year, especially during quiet cuddle time with my son.  Many books have expanded my mind and my heart, especially "Left to Tell," by Immaculee Ilibagize, and "Love and Responsibility," by Karol Wojtyla (John Paul II). 

Spiritual Seasons.  How wonderful that there is constant change in the spiritual life.  Although sometimes I would prefer to always feel uplifted, the times of dryness and uncertainty in prayer are invaluable.   As my spiritual director reminded me today, joy is great but suffering produces growth. 

I could definitely keep going, but I need to pack up for a big day tomorrow.  We are heading to Chicago to celebrate.  Family, food, and football, here I come.  

Happy Thanksgiving,

Amanda

P.S. Go Packers! 

Hello, hello (sung to the Beatles' tune)

Welcome to the new website!  This has been a long time coming.  Now you will be able to navigate through the pages, listen to music, purchase songs, and watch videos with ease.

Right now I'm sitting in one of the most beautiful homes, in St. Charles, Illinois.  David and I are getting ready to head back home to Michigan after a weekend of music, meeting new people, and sharing our faith.  

We spent the last few days in Cleveland, Ohio for the "Jesus Street" high school retreat with St. Charles Borromeo parish.  They made it easy for me with the music.  I simply showed up and played along with the praise and worship leader, with time to play some "entertainment" as well (think radio covers: Taylor Swift, Katy Perry...and yes, even Backstreet Boys.)  I definitely had fun.  It was encouraging how the 70 teens came with an open attitude, ready to engage and participate.  It still amazes me how God can work in someone's heart through some simple songs, stories, and skits... He takes our feable attempts and creates something truly glorious.  After a full weekend, we drove west to Illinois to support our good friends at Outside Da Box. 

Eric Groth is the director of a fantastic video/media company, "Outside Da Box."  He and his team create short films to help teens know, love, and serve Christ.  Eric produced my newest music video and has become a great friend.  He and his board of directors hosted a fundraiser with well-renowned speaker Matthew Kelly last night.  David and I originally planned to attend as supporters.  During our drive, Eric called with the unexpected news that the musical guest for the evening could not make it.  I was thrilled to help out by playing piano and singing a few songs to begin and end the event.  The talk by Matthew was fantastic.  Afterward, I was pleasantly surprised that many people inquired about my CD's, even though I only sang a few pieces.  We were able to stay the night with Eric's mother and father-in-law in this gorgeous house.  Even more impressive than the gorgeous home they designed is their warm and sincere hospitality.  What is more beautiful than generosity flowing from the heart?  

A couple of closing thoughts:

1. I miss our baby son!  Jamal is 13 months now, and so very fun and sweet.  This has been our first trip away from him for an extended time - 5 days!  It will be so great to go scoop him up from my parents' house later!

2. I am really excited for the National Catholic Youth Conference in Indianapolis this weekend.  Outside Da Box is sponsoring my participation, so I am able to give a warm-up concert for one of the "Mega Sessions" this Friday.  

Along with all of our other fun adventures, I got to hear some Beatles' songs, courtesy of Kevin, one of the seminarians on retreat this weekend.  What a great life. 

Peace, 

Amanda