Who I Am
One of my first solos was at an Advent concert when I was six years old. The lyrics went like this, "If anybody asks you who I am, who I am, who I am...If anybody asks you who I am, tell 'em I'm a child of God." Profoundly simple. This conviction is a rock of certainty in my rapidly changing world.
I recently realized that I am married with a toddler and a baby on the way. :) To get to this point, I made a lot of choices, whole-heartedly and with a lot of joy. However, because my life has been adjusting so fast, I have not had much time for it to "soak in" until recently. My identity has not shifted, of course. I am still a child of God, as I proclaimed to the world through song at 6 years old. But, in the last few years, my entire lifestyle is different, my opinions about important issues are new, and many of my best friendships have altered dramatically. In the midst of these changes, I have continued with my music ministry. You can imagine my metamorphosis as a woman, and as an artist, since I released by first CD, 9 years ago.
My debut project was entitled, "Shine Thru Me." It was the culmination of years of writing, piano lessons, and singing at church. When I wrote most of the songs, I had no idea I would record them to share with thousands of others. I was just working out my teenage experiences of dreams, prayers, heart-breaks, and questions. It was only after I started writing music that I envisioned having a ministry. I loved music, but I only wanted to use my gifts to please the Lord. When God opened the doors for me to put those songs onto a CD, I was ecstatically happy! He has never disappointed me when I trust Him with my deepest hopes. Now, my question is, how am I called to use my gifts at 24 years of age?
What is the best way to use my musical talents? I always saw my music and faith as inseparable. This is still true. I am wondering which approach to take in this new phase of my life. Am I a "Catholic artist," or an artist who is Catholic? Would it be wrong to write music that simply tells what is on my heart as a young wife and mom? Should I introduce myself as a "minister"? Would it be more effective to give people my absolute best art, and let the outcome speak for itself? Okay, enough questions. I think you get the gist of what I am wrestling with.
Maybe for a Christmas present, God will give me some clarity!
Until then, I will try to treasure this moment. I have been blessed with success in my mission so far, and I am excited about whatever lies ahead. Today, I saw a photo on Facebook from a friend's wedding. I led music during her nuptial Mass. The couple was married in a beautiful basilica here in Grand Rapids.
This picture caused me to pause my questioning and celebrate my enduring identity as a child of God. I pray that Christ will continue to shine through me if I offer myself to Him completely.
Enjoy this last week of Advent,