A Word Worth Repeating

Welcome to Word for the Week, the series in which I:

share my experience of hearing God’s Word in Mass last weekend,
explore what I believe the Lord is calling me to do about that Word, and
ask how this Word might impact your life, as well.

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This is a first!

This “Word for the Week” practice began when I was 17 years old. The pastor of our parish at the time, Fr. Jim Chelich, recommended it. He’s the one who first invited me (via his homily to the congregation) to ask the Lord for a “word” during Sunday liturgy. And then, in turn, to carry that word with me for the week. To ask God, “What do you want me to do about this word?”

Well, it’s been around 17 years since then. Which means, I’ve been carrying out this prayer practice for more than half of my life! Wow. Praise God.

But this week, on the Solemnity of Pentecost, I experienced for the first time that the Word for the Week was the very same from one week to the next.

“Come.”

Two Sundays back, I was playing for Mass at one of our local parishes. I’m looking back over the readings for that week, and I can’t really identify where that imperative showed up. Maybe it was actually in one of the prayers or the songs. Either way, it was definitely the Word that stayed with me. I remember distinctly, because right after Mass, I saw my little nephew.

He locked eyes with me from across the outdoor piazza. And then, with a huge smile, he ran straight into my arms. What a delight to pick him up and to laugh for joy. Later, as I asked the Lord, “What do you want me to do about this word?” the image of my nephew came back to me. I felt like God was inviting me to run back into His arms in that same confident, excited manner.

Then, last Sunday I attended Mass in Tempe, AZ at the Arizona State University campus parish. 10-year-old Chiara came with me. I wasn’t leading this time, but sitting in the pew with her. “Come Holy Spirit,” was a chorus that resounded again and again throughout the liturgy. And again, the word “come” resonated in my heart.

This week, as I ask the Lord what He wants me to do about that word, I’ve felt convicted that the Holy Spirit rushes to me, too! In other words, the exuberance of my little nephew was an image of how I’m called to run to the Lord. But it can also serve as a sign of how the Lord runs to me.

Remember the parable of the Prodigal Son from the Gospel of Luke? When the Father sees his son from a distance, he runs to greet him. When I was searching for this text, I came across this beautiful article from Biola Christian University. The author, Matthew Williams, explains how it was uncommon for a grown man to run in first century, Middle Eastern culture.

Not only was it uncommon, but it was an embarrassment, a disgrace. And yet, the father runs to his son. Is there an aspect of your life that evokes shame or remorse? If so, let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us cast aside our embarrassment or our social constructs, and open our arms to God’s embrace. He wants to meet us right there in our fear and shame, to bring us home.

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Special thanks to VIP Patrons:

Dick Safranski
Jordan Mendez
Julian Padilla
Jessica Cook
Kate Hicks
Deacon Tim & Lily Roberto
Carrie Brzezinski
Frances Jones
Elizabeth Herberg

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A Word for the Brokenhearted

Welcome to Word for the Week, the series in which I:

share my experience of hearing God’s Word in Mass last weekend,
explore what I believe the Lord is calling me to do about that Word, and
ask how this Word might impact your life, as well.

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"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted" -Psalm 34:19

When the words stood out to me during Mass two Sundays back, I was feeling wonderfully. I was in the pew with David and our son, Jamal. Our three daughters were at the children's liturgy. I had just returned from a ten-day tour, and I felt like things were going beautifully. "What do you want me to do about this word, Lord?" My thoughts first went to others who are brokenhearted.

Two days later, I gave a concert for a local parish in AZ. They’d felt the impact of COVID 19 acutely. Particularly, the community lost a young leader and musician in the past couple of weeks. I didn't have the blessing of knowing him personally, but I'd met family members of his. The Lord impressed a deeper awareness of their loss though my Word for the Week—that I needed to speak and sing for those who are mourning. The concert ended up being a meaningful night of prayer, song, laughter, and tears.

Later in the week, I went to a recording studio across town. My favorite audio engineer and I worked on a new song. It's something I composed acoustically, but now it has a definitive R&B production style. As I was leaving the studio, a deeper meaning of the lyrics—and of the experience of production—hit me.

I thought of the words that I had just listened to on repeat, as we mixed the song:

"When I hear your name, I recall your face with a joke around your mouth
Didn't work the way that I hoped, My heart broke
But look at me now! I'm living in love
I am confident, I am unafraid, And I'm grateful that you came"

As I drove away from the recording studio, I remembered a photo that my friend, Kate, took of me recently. She captured an image of me kneeling near the Grotto at the University of Notre Dame. I had to smile on my drive home: God certainly has been close to me when I was brokenhearted.

The Grotto was the physical location of deep heartache for me in the past. What a surprise to be able to visit again, and to be so filled up with joy, song, and even laughter! It was a reminder that God is near in all of the seasons of life. So as the seasons change from summer to autumn this month, I’ll invite you to reflect with me on the words of Ecclesiastes 3:11.

“God has made everything appropriate to its time, but has put the timeless into their hearts so they cannot find out, from beginning to end, the work which God has done.”

That word, timelessness. It’s haunting! Maybe you’re heartbroken today, and it feels like you’ll never recover. Or maybe you’re on the other side of heartbreak, able to laugh with joy at how far you’ve come. Whatever season you’re in, let’s pray, “Lord, help us to know you are close to us, even as we marvel at the mystery of your timing. Amen.”

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Special thanks to VIP Patrons:

Dick Safranski
Jordan Mendez
Julian Padilla
Jessica Cook
Kate Hicks
Sara Chacon
Deacon Tim & Lily Roberto
Carrie Brzezinski
Frances Jones

To become an Amanda Vernon Patron and receive a “New Song Every Sunday,” signup at amandavernon.com/patron.

Getting Everything You Want

Welcome to Word for the Week, the series in which I:

share my experience of hearing God’s Word in Mass last weekend,
explore what I believe the Lord is calling me to do about that Word, and
ask how this Word might impact your life, as well.

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Last Sunday, Mass was a relatively calm event! Mercedes (6 years old) was tired out from an evening of swimming the night before. But overall, no behavioral issues from any of our kids, and everyone seemed to listen well. Our associate pastor introduced the parish to a new member of the parish team: a seminarian who will be fully professed as a religious soon! It was a fun and pleasant spiritual experience. (My eyes are wide as I type this. Not long ago, Mass with our family used to be my most stressful point of each week!)

The word that stood out to me from Mass was one I've heard more than I could count. Growing up, every time one of my siblings or I would start a sentence with the words, "I want..."

Our dad would reply, "Repeat after me! 'The Lord is my shepherd,'"

Us: "The Lord is my shepherd,"

My dad: "...there is nothing I shall want."

Us: *rolling our eyes*

That exchange used to feel highly irritating. It makes me laugh in hindsight. As I've reflected on my Word for the Week, "I shall not want," the answer has been delightful.

Here I am: on tour again! With a beautiful family to love and nurture, with spiritual motherhood in full bloom. With projects and challenges to attend to, and the stability of life-long friendships and an incredible marriage to lean on. God is giving me what I want in big ways and in tiny details.

Yet, the little things don’t seem little when they meet my hearts’ desires so exquisitely.

Like being able to order a taco dinner and have it delivered to the studio where I was working in Los Angeles this week. But then I didn’t have time to eat until I left the studio. But then the Lyft driver, Luis, didn’t care one iota if I ate in his car.

Or how my flight from Burbank got delayed, which gave me enough time to visit with my Great-Uncle before I journeyed home. What makes the blessings so beautiful, is the belief that they are coming from the hand of God. To clarify: I believe that not only the blessings but the wants themselves are from the Lord.

To anyone who is comparing their wants to God's wants today, I'll ask: do you want to love? Like Mary Magdalene—who showed her desire to be close to Jesus in an extravagant, counter-cultural manner—perhaps our desire to love will look confusing to others. Perhaps it will appear to be frivolous or "over enthusiastic" (as someone has described my attitude in the past!)

When Mary Magdalene washed Jesus' feet with her hair, Jesus saw her heart! And I believe that He sees and blesses the desires of our hearts when we open those wants and needs up to Him. Even if the wants seem too little or too big!

Repeat after me: The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want... (because He gives me all that I truly want and more.)

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Special thanks to VIP Patrons:

Dick Safranski
Jordan Mendez
Julian Padilla
Jessica Cook
Kate Hicks
Sara Chacon
Kelly Wesaw
Deacon Tim & Lily Roberto
Carrie Brzezinski

To become an Amanda Vernon Patron and receive a “New Song Every Sunday,” signup at amandavernon.com/patron.

God Did Not Make Death

Welcome to Word for the Week, the series in which I:

share my experience of hearing God’s Word in Mass last weekend,
explore what I believe the Lord is calling me to do about that Word, and
ask how this Word might impact your life, as well.

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Last weekend, I was exhausted. The need for sleep: natural for all humans, I know. But this was deep exhaustion. The kind that ushered in a trauma response where my mind fixated on negative and harmful thoughts. David felt scared because it reminded him of how I operated when I was in the throes of postpartum depression.

I didn’t attend Mass with the family, but rather listened to the readings and took a nap. “I guess this is survival mode,” David said as he packed up the four kids to attend the liturgy in person.

“It doesn’t have to be a whole mode,” I said groggily. “Maybe it’s only today!”

Later that Sunday, when I got a second wind and felt some calm, we were able to eat family dinner together. Our 10-yr-old son said with a grin, “Good thing it’s the last Mass before the Bishop says we have to come back!” (Jamal knew that the Sunday Mass obligation is officially reinstated as of next weekend.)

I laughed. “It is good timing!”

When I listened to the audio recording online, the beginning of the first reading stood out the most, “God did not make death.” Even though my mind felt cloaked in darkness, it was comforting to think that God didn’t create me for those feelings.

Later in the week, I had a challenging conversation with a close friend. It was the kind of talk where the necessary words seemed to require physical exertion to expel. As I spoke into the confrontation between us, I thought, “Ah, dying to myself. This is it.”

Again, those words came back to me: “God did not make death.” It was a surprising moment as I turned to the Lord in my heart for affirmation. The comfort was much deeper than I expected. I thought the sentiment from the Lord would be something like, “Good job dying today, daughter.” But it was more like a simple look of sorrow. Sorrow at the death.

I’d never thought of that before. That God is pained by our suffering—yes. But I never imagined his pain as I die to myself over something “little.” I’ve usually seen dying to myself in the day-to-day as something to be tough about.

Being tough might be good, too, in one sense. But through this Word for the Week, the Holy Spirit beckoned me to see that Jesus doesn’t create those deaths each day. Death is God’s enemy. Even as the Lord gives me grace to persevere, those “small” deaths break His heart, too.

For a moment this week, I was able to stop in the sorrow and to feel His love for me in it. (I’m feeling a lot better than I did last Sunday, by the way!) Normally I would ask how this Word might apply to your life, as well. This time, I’ll ask you: how do those words, God did not make death, speak to you today?

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Special thanks to VIP Patrons:

Dick Safranski
Jordan Mendez
Julian Padilla
Jessica Cook
Kate Hicks
Sara Chacon
Kelly Wesaw
Deacon Tim & Lily Roberto
Carrie Brzezinski

To become an Amanda Vernon Patron and receive a “New Song Every Sunday,” signup at amandavernon.com/patron.

Radiance and Marital Advice

Welcome to Word for the Week, the series in which I:

share my experience of hearing God’s Word in Mass last weekend,
explore what I believe the Lord is calling me to do about that Word, and
ask how this Word might impact your life, as well.

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What an unforgettable Christmas Season we just finished! On the Feast of Epiphany, 10-year-old Jamal and I went to a new parish that is close to our home. It was our first time visiting. And wow: this church was beautiful! For once, I felt genuinely appreciative to be wearing a face mask, since my mouth was in a wide-open smile for most of the Mass!

In every section of the church, there was something beautiful to behold: from the chandeliers throughout the towering ceiling, to the glowing dome, to huge painted stations of the cross, and every other pew filled with families and people of all different ages and cultural backgrounds. My Word for the Week only broadened my smile.

“You shall be radiant at what you see.” - Isaiah 60:5. (It matched my Word for the Week from last Epiphany, if you’d care to see the video.)

Indeed, I was already radiant at what I saw! What a difference to celebrate Mass inside of such a beautiful space. In the ensuing days, there were many sights that filled up my heart. Notably: family time while the Green Bay Packers won the top place in the NFC to begin the playoffs!

Then, last Sunday, on the Feast of the Baptism of Christ, we brought our entire family back to Mass at the new parish. It had been a number of months! The last time we attended Mass together, we were at Mass in a gym with no congregational singing.

This time, our children were especially engaged and well behaved. A small Christmas miracle to end the liturgical season! While they would normally have grown antsy at Mass in a gymnasium, I could see that they were mystified by the beautiful images of saints and angels all around the church. They were also drawn in by the music and by the young families around us.

The Word that stood out to me seemed to concern my husband, specifically: “The benefits assured to David,” from Isaiah 51:3, and “Beloved,” (the meaning of David’s name) from 1 John 5:1. My initial reaction was course-corrected in prayer. At first, I thought, “I’m called to bring those benefits to David!” But the Holy Spirit convicted me that those words are about the Lord.

Lately, I’ve been overwhelmed. I’ve tried to “do it all,” at home (to be a domestic goddess + artistic queen, so to speak) in hopes of making David happy! Yet, unsurprisingly, the idea of trying to do more than I’m able to do made me feel daunted and resentful. Through the Word, The Spirit reminded me that it’s not I but God who fulfills His promises to David. 

What a surprising turn. Just when I thought I needed to keep “making David’s dreams come true” by shouldering more and more responsibilities, the Lord gave me this Word specifically about “David.” After honest conversations this week, David and I decided to shuffle some of the household responsibilities around so that I can have more time to be in the creative zone.

As you prepare to attend Mass this week (whether online or in person) perhaps you will hear the Word and assume you know what it means for you, like I did. I’ll invite you to join me in listening for the Spirit to surprise us! Lord, teach us in new ways. Come, Holy Spirit.

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Special thanks to VIP Patrons:

Kim Moline
Dick Safranski
Jordan Mendez
Julian Padilla
Jessica Cook
Kate Hicks
Sara Chacon
Kelly Wesaw
Deacon Tim & Lily Roberto
Carrie Brzezinski

To become an Amanda Vernon Patron and receive exclusive rewards, signup at amandavernon.com/patron.