Somebody's Callin' My Name

Welcome to Word for the Week, the series in which I:

share my experience of hearing God’s Word in Mass last weekend,
explore what I believe the Lord is calling me to do about that Word, and
ask how this Word might impact your life, as well.

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It was a huge, long, full, fun, challenging, beautiful week.

We went to church as a family again last week! It feels like a massive accomplishment (massive, get it?) with the mask wearing, social distancing, and the general age range of our four children (4 - 10). We arrived at the last minute, when most seats were taken, so we split up into different pews. Nonetheless, it was so good to be among a group of people to praise the Lord.

The word that stood out to me was from the first reading: 

“‘I did not call you,’ Eli said.” -1 Samuel 3:5

As I asked the Lord, “What do you want me to do about this word?” I realized that I’ve been attributing some recent challenges to my family history more than to the Lord. In other words: last summer I shared that I’ve been hesitant to fully enter into happy moments. I can trace this fear back through my family line and see a tendency to “grieve the good.”

So, when things are happy and wonderful, I’m easily tempted to run away, so to speak. This was one of those weeks. It was so fun and wonderful that I felt pulled into a negative response. Again, I could point to my family tree and say, “This has been passed on to me!” However! God is teaching me something new through this Word for the Week.

The Lord invited me to realize that it’s not my history calling me, but God Himself who calls me to the cross!! Wow. Jesus is already shouldering the burden of my family trauma. He already knows the challenge before me. In those moments when I feel the weight of harmful thought patterns that were handed on to me, the Lord is calling my name.

When Samuel heard someone calling his name, Eli eventually told him to wait for God to speak. I’ve been trying to listen for the Lord in those moments where I’m called out of myself. And it’s only now as I type up this reflection that I believe the Lord is showing me what I need to do, specifically. I need to say, “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.”

That’s the missing piece.

If you, like me, tend to speak accusations over yourself in your moments of struggle, I’ll invite you to join me. The next time you face a trying situation and are tempted to blame yourself (or to blame your family, for that matter), imagine Christ carrying that Cross for you. Let’s go to him, embrace the cross, and say, “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.”

His words are spirit and life.

P.S. Also! In a few days, I'll be in the recording studio to produce new songs for patrons. I think I ought to add the Gospel spiritual song, "Hush, Hush, Somebody's Callin' My Name" to the lineup!

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