Too Blessed to Stress (or not)
Snow and sunshine in Flagstaff, Arizona
Welcome to Word for the Week, the series in which I:
share my experience of hearing God’s Word in Mass last weekend,
explore what I believe the Lord is calling me to do about that Word, and
ask how this Word might impact your life, as well.
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Four Sundays ago, we went to Mass during the morning because the Super Bowl was going to be played in the evening. A children’s choir led the music. It was beautiful and so moving to hear their voices! The entire congregation seemed exceptionally lively. Laughter rang out heartily at every joke (of which there were many) from our associate pastor. Not to mention, there was an entire contingent of Kansas City Chiefs fans who were in Phoenix for the big game that night.
A singular word stood out to me from the readings: blessed. It was from Psalm 119, “Blessed are they who follow the law of the Lord.”
The ensuing week was full of particularly fun activities. It started with a run on Monday, after I dropped off our van for an auto repair. There’s something so fun about A.) having the repair shop so close, and B.) having the resources to fix our family vehicle, and C.) being able to run home from the shop.
The next day was Valentine’s Day! Then, on Wednesday, a close friend flew into Phoenix to visit us. The visit included hiking, burritos, pasties (a family-favorite dish of mine), driving north to “high country” to find snow. After our friend flew back home, I had a women’s fellowship group on Friday night, and Saturday morning was our son Jamal’s flag football game.
And yet, I felt bored all week, with virtually every experience. My body felt tense, antsy. Thoughts were often, “This is my life and it’s just not exciting.”
In light of my Word for the Week, I remembered, “These are blessings.” The week was objectively filled with lovely things and people. So why was I feeling so disconnected from the reality of the blessing?!
That Friday night, I sat in a candlelit church before my women's study began. I prayed for Our Mother’s intercession. Providentially, the study was about Mary, her feminine genius, and her queenship. One of the discussion questions was,
“What’s the most mundane task your work (whether inside or outside the home) currently demands of you? How can you invite God into that task and allow it to become part of your sanctification?” -Endow Study Guide to John Paul II’s Letter Addressing Women
On the hour-long drive home from the group, I listened to a podcast. It happened to be an interview with a former touring artist. After 10 years on the road, he realized he wanted to have a “normal life,” and a community with whom to share it. I was moved to tears. It was relatable. Plus, he still got to accomplish his dream of working in the arts, even after he stopped touring!
What was God trying to say to me?
Upon returning home, I brushed my teeth. Meanwhile, a few important things dawned on me:
Brushing teeth is the most mundane task I do.
I love brushing my teeth. It’s not boring, even though it’s mundane.
Comfort! The experience I was responding to in each “boring” situation that week, was actually that of comfort. The blessing of this situation seemed to rain down on me.
My life is filled with comfort right now. Paradoxically, it’s been a time of spiritual desolation. But physically, emotionally, and intellectually, I’ve been surrounded by comfort. Through my Word for the Week, the Lord convicted me that it’s time to embrace the blessing of that comfort.
In closing, let’s reflect a moment on the parable of the snake and the loaf of bread. A wise friend drew my attention to these verses recently:
“Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asks for a loaf of bread, or a snake when he asks for a fish? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him.” Matthew 7:9-11
My wise friend reminded me, some of us have sadly learned something the opposite: we asked for comfort (maybe food, maybe some other need) and instead we received something that did not meet our needs, or maybe even something that hurt us. Perhaps it wasn’t a snake instead of bread, but what happened taught us not to trust, or to simply not ask anymore.
Maybe someday in the future, someone will relate precisely with seeking comfort and finding danger, instead. Maybe someone else who is reading has also experienced the feeling of being bored even when the best things are happening. For those who haven’t had these experiences, would you please pray for those of us who struggle to accept good things from God, in turn?
It’s truly a blessing to share the process. Thanks for being here.
Love,
Amanda
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