Welcome to my blog! Read on for updates about my touring, music releases, and behind-the-scenes mommy happenings. Leave a comment to join the conversation! With love, Amanda Vernon

Amanda Vernon

Speaking to authentic beauty through music, the language of the soul.

Amidst the Mist

California Foothills

Growing up in Michigan, fog was a rarity among our vast array of intense weather. When I moved to California, I experienced fog dense enough to create a whiteout. It looked similar to driving through heavy snowstorms back in the Midwest, except without the treacherous road conditions.

Bay Area fog gave me the first visual image of what postpartum depression feels like. Something about it was so comforting. Because in my opinion, the Bay Area is the most beautiful place in the country. And yet, when it's enveloped by fog, it's beauty is sometimes completely hidden.

About a month after our youngest daughter was born, I went over to AC's house with our tight group of friends (who are more like family). Bell turned to me and asked, "How are you though? I know postpartum depression can be really serious." All eyes were on Serra and me. My friends listened intently as I explained about the fog. Since my favorite way of expressing my feelings is through music, I sang part of my newest song for them:

"This valley is encompassed by foothills
Of redwood forests
Winding roads through green meadows
Spanish roofs on quiet homes
And my eyes cannot make out
Any of it now
Amidst the mist and I don't mind it
The sun will come for me
Amidst the mist and I'm surviving
Glory surrounds me"

Most of us were misty-eyed afterward, as we sat in silence together for a while.

Fast forward 5 months: my family and I are enjoying the warm Arizona winter, and the majority of my fog has evaporated! I'm continuing to write about this experience, though, for others who might still be in the thick of it. I have friends and family members who live in that fog every day, no matter the season. I'm grateful to be able to relate now, even though my experience of it is transient.

David and I filmed the newest episode of "In Real Life" while we were on tour in Hawaii this month. Baby Serra was our sidekick, so the shots are pretty simple. I hope my heart comes through the song, though. Thanks in advance for checking it out (with sound up!!!), and be assured of my prayers for you, if you're navigating through the mist today.

The Deeper You Love

Together with David and our four kiddos (they’re now ages 6, 4, 2, and a newborn), I relocated to Phoenix from the San Francisco Bay Area last month. This mirrors the transition we made as a family two years prior. Except this time has been somehow much more seamless while being simultaneously more painful. 

Two years ago, we moved from our hometown in Michigan, across the country, with a newborn baby, to a place where we hardly knew anyone. Thankfully, David’s brother lived there. I also had a few ministry colleagues in the area, and a new job lined up. Adjacent to my new place of work, the cozy blue house that we moved into required a new level of accessibility to our surrounding community. 

I could describe settling into California as I describe Bay Area highways: noisy, crowded, interconnected, with breathtaking scenery.

This year, again we had a baby, and again we moved to a new state where we knew hardly anyone. Our work schedule is completely adaptable now, since we’ve stepped away from all other professional commitments to focus solely on my music career. There’s plenty of space in our Arizona home for our growing family, and our backyard is exceptionally quiet and secluded. And yet, the way I miss California is unparalleled.

I miss the rolling hills. I miss the romantic mist in the morning. I miss the smell of fresh flowers during every season, the cool Bay breeze, the warm sun. The rainbow of ethnicity, language, and culture. The spirit of openness and ingenuity. The Catholic missions that shaped the history of the region. How most cities are named after saints and angels. Of everything, I miss our friends the most. 

In California, for the first time in 7 years of marriage, David and I formed our group of friends together. See, back where we grew up in Michigan, most of our beloved friendships were forged in our youth. Even though many of those friends overlapped, they began when we were single. Our experience in the Bay Area was quite different. 

This particular group of friends grew out of our ministry at our church. David and I were part of the “birth” of this new family of friends, so to speak. It was strengthening for us as individuals, and edifying for our marriage. And I believe the love between us all was the presence of God. Others recognized it, too, without needing any explanation. 

For example, a young man who moved to our neighborhood from another country, came to pray and talk with our group of friends. During his first attendance at our young adult group, he turned to me with a huge smile and said, “I like this... feeling.” Our community was his first experience with Christianity. That night, he decided to join the Catholic Church. He’s planning to come into the Catholic Church on Easter. Perhaps he didn’t know the details of our beliefs yet, but he could sense the love that we share. 

One of our Amanda Vernon Patrons left a beautiful comment this week that speaks the truth of my recent experience. In response to my newest episode of In Real Life, Dick Safranski wrote, among other things, “The deeper you love, the more loss you can feel.”

If you’re reading this, Mr. Safranski, thank you for the truthful and touching words! 

It would require many more pages of text to explain the many ways our Bay Area friends blessed our lives during the past two years. That bond doesn’t go away with the distance between us. It definitely hurts to be apart, though. I’m grateful for a smooth start to our newest adventure, and I’m also thankful for the sweetness that’s felt in this sense of loss.

So Maybe I'll Be Misunderstood

Over the past several months, I’ve been on stage in front of thousands of people across the U.S., and connected with thousands more over the Internet.  But those fleeting moments reveal only part of the story, and images on social media can only say so much.  A picture may tell a thousand words, but who decides the interpretation of those words?  

Read More

Swimming Upstream

Growing up, most of my touchstone religious experiences came during youth retreats or conferences. There was something special about stepping back from my typical routine to place my full energy into a heightened awareness of the divine.  Not to mention, I got to meet cute boys.  


Read More

© 2018, Joyful Noise, Inc. All rights reserved.